Is your point of view hurting your students?
I remember back to my sophomore year in high school (yes that was a long time ago & yes we had wheels & yes we even had a few pieces of this new thing called paper) during a social studies class where I first encountered the word 'ethnocentric.' Like most people we were taught the dangers of those who believe that their own ethnic group or culture is inherently superior to others. Over the years I came to associate ethnocentrism as a very negative concept and I spoke of those with ethnocentric tendencies as almost sub human, with a lack of enlightenment or freedom. I was convinced that I could never be intolerant of other views of life.
That was high school, but now I've come to realize that I work in a field that is one of the most ethnocentric areas of ministry. One of the curses of being an educator is that words mean things and you have to know what the full scope of the meaning of words are. The word ethnocentric is really about the strong tendency we all have of viewing others culture and experiences from the center of our own perspectives. When we think that others experience God like we do, or that all people will respond to the discipleship model we went through the same way we did, we are ethnocentric. We become bigots in the sense that we limit others growth and experiences because we are convinced that what worked for us is what will work for them as well. Therefore we require them to start from our own 'center' and then they will be able to move through the growth sequences that worked for us.
I know that some of you reading this are thinking that I'm using vocabulary that is too strong for what I'm actually referring to. But am I? When we treat the students we work with from the perspective of our own high school experiences, we actually diminish them and become a part of a culture that tells them they have to fit our agenda for their lives. We become the experts and force them to encounter growth through our own lens and we limit their ability to connect with God in a unique and fresh way. As a result our ethnocentrism holds them back and limits their ability to chase after life.
The only cure to our youth ministry bigotry is to allow the Holy Spirit to increase our empathy. We have to be vulnerable enough to be able to see things from the perspective of the students we care for. This is not something you want to do on your own because with the teens that are growing up in our culture of abandonment have a painful starting point. Starting from your own perspective is safe. You can command compliance with strength and security because you have made it through therefore they will as well. Empathy does not create the same levels of security, but actually makes us more vulnerable. I tend to cry a lot when I operate out of empathy because I can now see hurt, pain, discouragement and uncertainty. I still am convinced that they will make it through this pain to a place of growth and freedom, but I can see that it won't be easy and it can't be a one size fits all approach.
Ethnocentric youth ministry is easier, more fun and less painful. However, in the long run it does not produce as many life champions. Empathic youth ministry is more work, is drenched with tears and breaks our hearts. However, in the long run it does produce tender champions who are able to help others embrace the life of Jesus. Read the gospels again before you just tuck this away as a nice thought. Was Jesus' ministry ethnocentric or empathic? Did he tell everyone the truth from His perspective and require them to see life from his point of view, or did he walk along side of us in the midst of our pain and help us see hope from the center of our own pain?
