Stock Families

I'd like to introduce you to the most incredible family I've ever met. This family is the perfect example of what a family should be. Every time I see this family it is so obvious that I should quit teaching about families, because it is obvious that my family is a mess in comparison. I mean, my sixth grader is being accused of being a bully, my eighth grader says that God doesn't work for him and my second grader told me that Christian cool doesn't fly at his school, only gansta cool. Here I thought I was supposed to have a family that had it together, but every time I see this other family I'm instantly reminded about my failures. It can even be discouraging to try to measure up, because I already feel so far behind.

Now I do have real struggles with my family, but my primary problem is not with behavior or parenting skills.  My primary problem is that I'm comparing myself to a photo of a family that might not even be related to each other. Last year at the Orange conference Reggie Joiner opened the sessions with a message about the "stock" families and the problems it creates for most of our families. You see, sometimes we unintentionally set the bar for family expectations so high that people can't attain it. We have families that want to grow, and want to help their kids, but they struggle to meet the expectations they set based upon an ideal that is unreachable.

I wonder what would happen if we started lowering the bar of expectations for our families? What would happen if we told a father to try and pray with their children one time during the next few days, instead of pushing for a daily devotional? What is we helped parents know that some battles with their children will be painful, and you might not see progress for a few years, but they will make it? What if we told parents that there will be days you will make mistakes with your kids? What if we helped parents know that we are all struggling through this together, and we all have to struggle with the God given ability our kids have of making their own choices? What if we let them know that their tears they cry for their kids will never be wasted? What if we helped them focus on the end goal and love their kids every step of the way? What if we let them know that every family makes hundreds of small course corrections through out the week?

What if we ripped up all of the photos of the Stock family and tried to be real?