Fight Early

I was having lunch with a new group of friends recently when two of us got into the conversation about our kids. I mentioned that we were in the middle of the middle school emotions and struggling with helping our boys take responsibility for their actions. As I was talking I noticed that his eyes began to well up with tears. I know that I'm a very likable guy but this was a bit quick for this kind of response. As soon as I paused for a moment I began to hear the story behind those tears. He told me of the struggles he and his wife were having with their 18 year old and how she was still struggling with taking responsibility for her actions. He then looked me straight in the eye and told me to be willing to fight those fights now with my boys because the battles get harder if we carry too much for them at a young age.

What he said holds incredible truth and should create a new resolve for those who work with teenagers: Fight for them early. When I talk to youth leaders across the country I usually ask about what they do for their middle schoolers. The answers are usually geared toward a camp experience or a Sunday school program. Unfortunately it is too often accompanied by a phrase that they have a volunteer working with them, or they are so busy chasing the senior students who are in deep hurt that the early teenage students are sort of expected to follow along. These statements reinforce the statement from the hurting father mentioned before; fight early.

Most are aware that close to 85% of those who commit their lives to Christ do so by the time they leave their teen years. According to  Christian Smiths research, 85% of those made those commitments before they reached the age of 14 (Souls in Transition, p. 247). This simply reinforces the need to pour our evangelism, discipleship and love into a younger demographic. The need for youth workers to chase 13-14 year olds is evident, yet it is often overlooked and undervalued, because it isn't easy.

I have two sons in middle school so I am fully aware of the joys of puberty, short attention spans, mood swings, the power of "now" and a brain that fluctuates between concrete thoughts and absolute fantasy. It is difficult to work with such an immature commodity, but if we don't fight for them early, the path to recovery later in life can be even more painful. Give them responsibility early than you think they might be able to handle it. Help them believe in themselves by believing in them. Most importantly, chase them and don't let them push you away. They are dying for someone like you to care for them.

Please, fight for our young people early on their journey to maturity!