Riddle Me This: How Long is Too Long?
HOW MANY YOUTH PASTORS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
None, because youth pastors don’t stay around long enough for the bulb to burn out! If you’re like me, part of you would like to “lay hands” on the person who came up with that joke. Then again, maybe part of you sheepishly backs out of the room because of the partial truth in it.
At 45, Bruce Riddle happens to be the oldest youth pastor for his denomination (Assemblies of God) in Nebraska. Even more impressive is the fact that he has the most longevity for a youth pastor in Nebraska: 13 years with his church (Bruce stayed at that church a couple of years after this interview took place, then youth pastored in another city, and as far as I know, is still there). He has strong opinions on longevity as a youth pastor. His views may not be palatable for the new Bible school graduate wanting youth ministry as a means of getting their ‘feet wet’ to prepare them for what they consider “real” ministry. Agree or disagree, he has gained respect by those of us in the Cornhusker district, and more importantly, his community outside the church. I spoke with Bruce on the phone to talk with him about being a youth pastor ‘over 30’ and was refueled in my own call to the teenage sect after our interview. I think you will be, too.
DM: How old were you when you got involved in youth ministry?
BR: 28. I was leading the young adult ministry, worship, choir director, and on the church board at the time.
DM: What was the key to your going into youth ministry at age 28?
BR: The Lord - and it was not without some difficult decision making...I was leaving a great paying job, my folks, my friends, basically my history. The call to “go” was stronger than all my apprehensions and fears. Although there were times when I asked myself, ‘Are you nuts?! Why would you do this to yourself and your family?’ Answer: because God said to! Instead of being an adventure that I had feared would “take away” from my family, it actually brought more to my family than I could have imagined...God knew!
DM: Why, at 45, do you continue to serve youth?
BR: I really believe the Lord has directed me to stay here this long...to provide continuity and stability in a youth culture with no stability. Considering the short-term of youth pastors (2-3 years), the longevity God’s given me here sends the message to the kids that I’m in it for the long haul. So it’s stability in a world where everything’s transitional.
My heart’s still in it. If there’s a room full of adults and a room full of teens, I’m drawn to the youth. Not because I can’t interact with adults--I need that connect. But I’m drawn to the kids because that’s what the Lord has put in my heart.
DM: What is it about this generation of youth that strikes or compels you?
BR: The disconnectedness relationally. They’re driven by computers and computer games, TV, etc. What they’re involving themselves in isn’t meeting the interpersonal needs they have. They don’t know how to relate on a personal level. They haven’t had it modeled for them like it was 20-30 years ago. That’s what creates strength in a youth group, relationships. We can’t compete with what the world’s got going. It’s hot for a few months and then not.
I can’t see this as a ‘stepping stone’. It’s not gonna do the kids justice coming in for a few years and transitioning out to something ‘bigger and better’. That leaves kids feeling used. When we say we’re gonna be here for them we don’t understand what that means in their minds. They think longer term than what they’re getting. We complicate it at the church setting after they’ve had to deal with parents leaving and divorcing. We can make them even more skeptical about ‘long-term’ relationships and how that works when, as youth pastors, we’re moving on to ‘greener pastures’ every 2-3 years.
DM: Do you still feel competent to either relate to or minister to teenagers? Why or why not?”
BR: At time yes; at times no. At having an idea of what they’re going thru, yes. Because I’ve been there with my kids. I try to get them to understand it from my angle.
I don’t feel real competent to totally understand their world because it’s changing so rapidly. But that’s what keeps me on my knees. At the time you think you’ve got teens and youth ministry in general figured out, you could leave God totally out of the equation. You can get so caught up in trying to understand their world that you forget to explain the kingdom of God to them. Over the years you become proficient, but youth ministry as a whole, I don’t feel like “OK, I’ve got a grasp on it.” That would make me a “professional”.
(At the time of this interview) Bruce has been a basketball coach at a local high school for seven years, which keeps him connected w/kids outside the church; he’d started out driving a bus). Having been asked about assembly speakers, etc., came out of longevity and building trust within the community and getting outside the uth group.
DM: At what age, if any, do you feel you, as a youth minister, may be obsolete or ineffective and why?
BR: I don’t have a date on it. I can’t think that way. I’m gonna go until the Lord says stop. The downside of that is when it doesn’t go with the norm - because I’ve got buddies who are senior pastors. The norm is that if you’re 45 you should be a senior pastor or an associate somewhere. But I can’t look at it that way: the age isn’t the determinative - it’s the heart. I look at Moses....God kinda has a way of going outside the norm - not to bring the person glory, but to show people that God’s God. I love it when He busts those stereotypes....
Ineffective? That’s kind of a term that we have to be careful of. I think a lot of the standards by which we determine effectiveness or ineffectiveness haven’t aided pastors. I’m gonna be ineffective when I no longer have a heart for what I’m doing. Or, when God ceases to give me a burden/vision for this particular age group. I don’t think we become ineffective as much as God re-tools us for something different. We must be careful to know what God’s perspective of effectiveness is. Again, against the norm....God’s not in that kind of a box. Be more concerned with what God has called you to do and let Him worry about the effectiveness.
DM: Any additional thoughts?
BR: There’s a great surge to try this new program & that....I think youth pastors need to be careful to be true to what’s in their hearts...to do what God has put in their heart. We can get caught up in what works for others, but there’s nothing like hearing God speak to my heart and lead me.
(Regarding youth ministry programming) You can still have form and have life. God’s not gonna ask us to do stuff that’s “not us”. He’s gonna tailor our ministry after our hearts. We need to give kids what they need, not only what they want.
I get the idea that Bruce has probably changed plenty of light bulbs.
See a related web article on youth workers over 30, with several Minnesota yp’s quoted, on Enrichment Journal’s Youth Worker theme in Aug 2006, www.enrichmentjournal.ag.org.
Danette Matty has been a youth worker since big hair was in. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and two kids. She’s been published in GROUP Magazine and Youthworker Journal, is contributing editor to The Source For Youth Ministry (www.thesource4ym.com ) and part of GROUP’s National Presenter Team.
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